Running Away From Me
~By David Allan Reeves
The Best True Story Of Addiction and Recovery Iâ€™ve Read In A Very Long Time
~Review by Judy Herzanek
Iâ€™ve read quite a few books on addiction and recovery over the past years. Once in a while there is one that just â€œhits meâ€ in a special way. This is one of those books. I didnâ€™t want it to end. And I certainly want to follow David as he continues his amazing journey of recovery.
The thing that really hit home to me was the way Davidâ€™s story began . . . no abuse, no trauma, no neglect or divorce. His story, like that of many others illustrates the insidiousness of addiction and how it creeps into a personâ€™s life and takes hold with a vengeance.
â€œI can never sit back and say that Iâ€™ve completely recovered from my addiction. It has been with me for so long that it now defines who I am.â€ ~David Allan Reeves
Written with brutal honesty and passion, David illustrates the reality of how strong this obsession can be. The way it completely takes over a personâ€™s entire life. . . mentally, physically and spiritually is mind-boggling. The reader follows him from his casual use, to resorting to actions that would previously have been unthinkable.
As we journey with David we learn firsthand of his struggles and life-lessons.
On the circle of addiction:
â€œMore pain equals more drugs equals more pain equals more drugs, ad infinitum.â€
On his many relapses:
â€œWhat is wrong with me? Do I have a split personality or something? Am I Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Iâ€™m a walking contradiction . . . Iâ€™m strong and Iâ€™m weak. Iâ€™m smart, but I act stupid. I want to quit and I want to use. I have a demon and an angel on my shoulders, and they take turns controlling my thoughts and actions.â€
â€œThere is a smell in these places, a mix of sweat, piss, and disinfectant that gets in your skin and stays there. If you get a whiff of it years later, all those feeling and emotions come back and slap you in the face. Itâ€™s the smell of condemnation.â€
â€œI was spineless and pitiful. I was tough enough to take a gun and stick it in peopleâ€™s faces to get what I wanted, but the thought of even a few days in prison had me whimpering and whining.â€
On learning to deal with life:
â€œI was incapable of dealing with life on lifeâ€™s terms. Life is a series of ups and downs, and I reached for the highs and was unskilled to deal with the lows. There is no above without a below, no light without darkness, and no good without bad. I had to learn to accept it and deal with it.â€
On hitting bottom:
â€œFor the first ten years I didnâ€™t think I had a problem and saw no reason to quit. For the second ten years I knew I had a problem. But even after several attempts to quit, I couldnâ€™t do it. For the first ten years, drug use was fun and exciting. For the second ten years it was pure hell on earth. For the first ten years, I could have quit if I wanted to. For the second ten years, it was too late.â€
I believe this book is perfect for those looking to really understand what it is like to be in the grip of addictionâ€”particularly for family members and friends of an alcoholic/addict.
I would caution that giving this book to your addict to read may not be the best idea. The graphic description of drug use, thoughts and feelings before, during and after using are so well-written, vivid and realâ€”too real for a recovering addict to read.
Lastly, the best thing about this story is that it gives families and friends hope. David says it best:
Â â€œThat small sliver of hope has grown into a volcano of joy, and if I can rebound from the pit of hell I was in, I believe anyone can. Saying I was hooked is inadequate; I was impaled and could not get loose without becoming self-destructive.â€
â€œIf it is really the darkest before dawn, then the sun must be about ready to come up.â€
David will celebrate 11 years clean and sober on October 15, 2015
“A wonderful companion book to “Why Don’t They Just Quit?, by Joe Herzanek”
Dir. Creative Development and Marketing/Changing Lives Foundation
Book: Why Don’t They Just Quit?
90-Minute DVD:Why Don’t They Just QUIT? DVD Roundtable Discussion: What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.
New DVD: The 10 Toughest Questions Families and Friends Ask About Addiction and Recovery.
Running Away From Me Running Away From Me Running Away From Me