Story from “In The Rooms/A Global Recovery Community”
My name is Jaimie and I’m an addict. I found “In The Rooms” when it was just starting out. I was sick in active addiction, and was pretending to go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings. I was really going and getting high, but saying I was going to meetings bought me time.
My parents didn’t question where I was or what I was doing if I said I was at a meeting. I was 19, and my mom would watch my son while I was at “meetings“. I had no idea what a meeting was like. I hopped on Google and did a general search, and up popped InTheRooms. I signed up immediately.
I thought that, “You People” could teach me how to “use properly.” After all, I wasn’t even thoroughly convinced I had a problem, I was barely 19, young, and “just having fun” after all.
People immediately welcomed me, told me there was hope, and I never had to use again. I tried to convince everyone I was happy, that using was just great, and they had no idea what they were missing, plus the 12 steps were a load of crock.
No one ever lost patience with me, I said a lot of dumb things, but time and time again people on this amazing website assured me there was hope out there. All I had to do was ask, and go to a meeting! I didn’t listen of course, I was still in denial.
I got caught using drugs and stealing from my parents, they asked me to leave. I ended up on the other side of the country, with a man I barely knew, hooked on more drugs than ever before I left, all strung out. My son was 18 months when I left. At least I didn’t drag him with me on my drug binge. I left him with my mom.
Within two weeks of moving, I was going to N.A. meetings, working, and trying to convince myself I was okay. I used the drugs to forget the physical, emotional, and mental abuse that was part of my everyday life. I went to meetings to hear the message of hope. I pretended to have time, I got a sponsor, and did what was suggested, except I refused to give up the drugs. I didn’t understand why things were not getting better in my life.
I got on the In “The Rooms” site when I could, but the man I was with was controlling and abusive. I remember posting about needing help a few times. People once again swarmed around me. I was grateful for the encouragement, but still refused to put down the drugs. I still thought the drugs weren’t my problem—that they were the solution to my problems.
I ended up home, after nearly dying a few times. The man I was with, followed me cross country, came within an hour of my house, and threatened to kill me and my family. I had never been more scared in my life, I was ready for change.
I checked myself into a 21 day rehab program, and started my life again. Since getting out of rehab, I have visited “In The Rooms” daily. Without it I don’t think I would still be clean. I live in small isolated town. We have 2 N.A. meetings a week. One on Monday night and one on Wednesday night. It is a small and intimate group; we have an average of 6 people that come on a regular basis.
There is not a lot of clean time, or recovery up here. When I first started coming, there were 3 people including me. I now serve as GSR at area, and do other various service work. It has been a rough year. I’ve lost friends, gained friends, fought through a rocky relationship with my mother, gone through a parenting plan and child support battle, and many other things.
Through all of this I have stayed clean, through the love and support of my amazing network of clean friends. At least half of my network are people I have connected with through “In The Rooms.”
I won the iPad contest in October. I felt so blessed to be have been chosen. It came at the perfect time as well, I celebrated my first year on November 18th, 2010. This spring I plan on going back to college to finish out my four year communications degree; after that I am applying to law school.
Somewhere along the journey in the past, my laptop became my parents, as a partial repayment for the money I stole. I was worried about finding the money to buy a computer. Thanks to “In The Rooms” this is one less worry. Without the love and support from the amazing people on “In The Rooms” I have no idea where I would be today.
So thank you everyone, not only for the iPad (which is amazingly cool), but for the unconditional love and support that everyone has given me.
For more info on this topic read Chapter 16 (One Step at a Time?) “Why Don’t They Just Quit?” (Are twelve-step meetings really important?)
Drug Addiction Stories
Addiction Recovery Resources for Families of Substance Abusers, Addicts and Alcoholics
Why Don’t They Just Quit? What families and friends need to know about addiction and recovery.
> Audio Book CD (LISTEN IN YOUR CAR)
> Audible Audio Download (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE)
FROM : “I was pretending to go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings.” TO CHANGING LIVES FOUNDATION BLOG HOME
Nar-Anon, NA, pretending to go to meetings, addiction stories, Naranon stories
I am inspired. I hope you stay clean. Listen it you EVER need to talk to someone I will listen. And not judge you.
Flow, observe, give, love – it’s all we have
Jamie, Keep telling your story and give the hope that was given to you back..