Story from “In The Rooms/A Global Recovery Community”
My name is Jaimie and I’m an addict. I found “In The Rooms” when it was just starting out. I was sick in active addiction, and was pretending to go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings. I was really going and getting high, but saying I was going to meetings bought me time.
My parents didn’t question where I was or what I was doing if I said I was at a meeting. I was 19, and my mom would watch my son while I was at “meetings“. I had no idea what a meeting was like. I hopped on Google and did a general search, and up popped InTheRooms. I signed up immediately.
I thought that, “You People” could teach me how to “use properly.” After all, I wasn’t even thoroughly convinced I had a problem, I was barely 19, young, and “just having fun” after all.
People immediately welcomed me, told me there was hope, and I never had to use again. I tried to convince everyone I was happy, that using was just great, and they had no idea what they were missing, plus the 12 steps were a load of crock.
No one ever lost patience with me, I said a lot of dumb things, but time and time again people on this amazing website assured me there was hope out there. All I had to do was ask, and go to a meeting! I didn’t listen of course, I was still in denial.
I got caught using drugs and stealing from my parents, they asked me to leave. I ended up on the other side of the country, with a man I barely knew, hooked on more drugs than ever before I left, all strung out. My son was 18 months when I left. At least I didn’t drag him with me on my drug binge. I left him with my mom.
Within two weeks of moving, I was going to N.A. meetings, working, and trying to convince myself I was okay. I used the drugs to forget the physical, emotional, and mental abuse that was part of my everyday life. I went to meetings to hear the message of hope. I pretended to have time, I got a sponsor, and did what was suggested, except I refused to give up the drugs. I didn’t understand why things were not getting better in my life.
I got on the In “The Rooms” site when I could, but the man I was with was controlling and abusive. I remember posting about needing help a few times. People once again swarmed around me. I was grateful for the encouragement, but still refused to put down the drugs. I still thought the drugs weren’t my problem—that they were the solution to my problems.
I ended up home, after nearly dying a few times. The man I was with, followed me cross country, came within an hour of my house, and threatened to kill me and my family. I had never been more scared in my life, I was ready for change.
I checked myself into a 21 day rehab program, and started my life again. Since getting out of rehab, I have visited “In The Rooms” daily. Without it I don’t think I would still be clean. I live in small isolated town. We have 2 N.A. meetings a week. One on Monday night and one on Wednesday night. It is a small and intimate group; we have an average of 6 people that come on a regular basis.
There is not a lot of clean time, or recovery up here. When I first started coming, there were 3 people including me. I now serve as GSR at area, and do other various service work. It has been a rough year. I’ve lost friends, gained friends, fought through a rocky relationship with my mother, gone through a parenting plan and child support battle, and many other things.
Through all of this I have stayed clean, through the love and support of my amazing network of clean friends. At least half of my network are people I have connected with through “In The Rooms.”
I won the iPad contest in October. I felt so blessed to be have been chosen. It came at the perfect time as well, I celebrated my first year on November 18th, 2010. This spring I plan on going back to college to finish out my four year communications degree; after that I am applying to law school.
Somewhere along the journey in the past, my laptop became my parents, as a partial repayment for the money I stole. I was worried about finding the money to buy a computer. Thanks to “In The Rooms” this is one less worry. Without the love and support from the amazing people on “In The Rooms” I have no idea where I would be today.
So thank you everyone, not only for the iPad (which is amazingly cool), but for the unconditional love and support that everyone has given me.
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