#4 Ask the Addict’s Mom
Changing Lives is proud to partner with The Addict’s Mom to bring our readers even more support, hope and friendship.
Are you a “Supermom?” It’s time to think about changing.
~By Barbara Theodosiou, Founder, The Addict’s Mom
Are you a “Supermom?”
My friend called the other day and asked me why I sounded so blue? I replied “what is the point of talking about IT?” She knew what I meant by IT. IT was how I referred to my addicted son. He had been our main topic of conversation for several years. She politely told me that it was not my fault. Just like a spoiled child, I replied “I don’t care if it is my fault or not. All I care about is that my son is dying in front of my eyes.”
A little annoyed and in a very firm tone, she told me “there is not a phone call you could make or a thing you could do anymore that can save your son. Remember Superman?” Of course, I replied. “Picture Lois Lane standing on the railroad tracks, a speeding train approaching, just about to hit her. Then Superman swoops down, stops the train with one hand just in the nick of time and saves Lois. Your son has had his own personal “Superman”– or in this case “Supermom”– who has rescued him his entire life, swooping down in the nick of time again and again to save the day.”
“Just like “Superman” is a TV and movie character, “Supermom” is make-believe too,” my friend continued. “Your son’s dependency on you is very unhealthy and unrealistic. It’s robbing him of one of life’s greatest gifts — the gift of being independent. When you let go of control, your son will be able to experience the natural consequences of life. Only then will he become his own man and the hero of his own life story.”
Even though I felt a little awkward and bruised I couldn’t help but smile. I knew how much my friend loved me and how courageous she had been to tell me the truth. She reinforced for me what I already knew — that it was time for me to make some major changes. My first positive step would be to visualize throwing my cape away, putting my sweatshirt back on and adjusting to being plain old mom again — kind of like going from “Superman” back to Clark Kent!
“The Addict’s Mom,” founded by Barbara Theodosiou is a group focusing on the mothers of addicted children. The relationship between the mother and addicted child is unique; that does not diminish the experiences of other family members. This group however, is dedicated to addressing the mother’s pain but more importantly, the commonalities of our experiences thus illustrating to the grieving mother that she is not alone nor is she unique in this respect. One line, one thought can help change her perspective for the better.
MORE from The Addict’s Mom:
-She Just Couldn’t Do It Anymore
–Expectations for our loved one’s recovery vs. reality
–Visit The Addict’s Mom Website
> Phone Counseling for Family Members
> Recommended Books and DVDs for families of substance abusers and addicts
> Low cost, No cost Alcohol and Drug Treatment Directory
> Drug Addiction and Alcoholism Recovery Resources for Friends, Families and Employers
If you found this article helpful please see our “Ask Joe” posts listed at the bottom and consider reading
“Why Don’t they Just Quit? Hope for families struggling with addiction.”
> Our website, “Why Don’t They Just Quit?”
> Changing Lives Amazon Storefront (buy new, from us for much less)
Recent Amazon.com reviews:
Best book ever about addiction. Written by one whose done it and is recovering. Easy to read, not preachy, just honest. I recommend this book to anyone with an addict in their life! ~Lynda A
Got an addiction problem in your family? Read this book. Joe knows his stuff. This book helps you better understand those dealing with friends and family that are addicted to drugs and alcohol. I have read several of these books but this one is the best. ~RJ
I, like many people, have some knowledge of what drugs and addiction are, but are clueless on what the process of recovery entails. This book does a great job in what it would take to help a loved one, who is an addict and is willing to get clean and stay clean. It also gives one hope that your loved one will survive the nightmare they are living through with their family. ~CG
> Audio Book CD (Listen to the book)
> Audible Audio Download (LISTEN TO 4 MIN. SAMPLE NOW)
> Do you have to stop seeing all your old friends in order to recover?
> Is a relapse—failure?
>Should my husband “back off?”
> If someone can stop using drugs or alcohol for weeks at a time, they “aren’t an addict—correct?
>Chronic Pain Management & Pain Pill Addiction: What to do?
>How can I know if my addicted friend or loved one is telling the truth?
>How can I tell if someone is an addict/alcoholic or just a heavy user?
>What is Methadone? What is Harm Reduction?
> Self-Tests: Codependence
> Self-Tests: Alcohol and Drug Addiction
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–from The Addict’s Mom.” Are you a “Supermom?” It’s time to think about changing.”, to Blog Home
Supermom The Addict’s Mom
The Addict’s Mom, Supermom
Sorry….I just saw your post here. There sure is a group near you! We have a meeting-finder link on our Resources Page—plus a lot of other info. Look at AA and/or Al-Anon (depending on what your needs are). Please email me if you have other questions okay? (you can use the contact us link at the bottom).
How do i find you? this site just popped up before my eyes and spoke to me. Time to take off the cloak. i am in Orange, CA- is there a group near me?