Story from “In The Rooms/A Global Recovery Community”
I was married to an addict 20 years ago, he was the love of my life and father to my 2 eldest children. We met when young and both had a habit initially. When I became pregnant I stopped the drugs but he never did. I remember feeling so angry and frustrated with him for not putting us first and pushed and pushed him into rehab. He kept relapsing and eventually I couldn’t let him be around my children – he was in an awful state and we divorced. I was angry, hurt, resentful and scared to be on my own and blamed him.
I brought my kids up by myself but never bad-mouthed their father, just told them he was ill. The children didn’t see him for years and every time the local papers reported a death, I thought it might be him.
It took his father’s funeral to bring them together again and though he still used, they were adult enough to make up their own minds about him. They loved him and accepted him. I in turn was there for him out of love though it was now a brotherly love and he knows he is loved, whatever he has done. He is now 50 and has been a heroin addict for most of his life. I in turn gave up my drug abuse 2 and a half years ago and have been sober for nearly six weeks.
I don’t harbor any resentment to him, though I used to, and would not have been the person I was today if it were not for him. Our children have grown into healthy, well balanced, independent and caring adults and we are both very proud of what they have achieved. I pray that he will one day be clean, he should do it for himself but I doubt it will happen.
Whatever happens, he knows he has the love of his family, unconditionally.